UNDER HIS WINGS

“...the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” — Ruth 2:12 (ESV)

Before You Pursue a Relationship

Our greatest calling is not to find a spouse, but to know, love, and glorify God. Marriage is a good gift, but it is not the ultimate purpose of our lives. Whether we remain single or marry, we are called to grow in Christlikeness and serve the Lord faithfully.

Ruth did not become a woman of noble character when Boaz chose to marry her. Her faithfulness was already evident. Boaz likewise demonstrated generosity, responsibility, and integrity before becoming her husband. Godly character is not something we develop simply to attract a spouse; it is part of living before Christ.

Whom do I love most? Where have I taken refuge? Who defines my identity?

Do not spend your single years simply waiting for someone. Use them faithfully for the glory of God.

This guide includes reading for spiritual growth, singleness and dating, engagement, and the purpose of marriage. Choose one book appropriate to your current season; read it with an open Bible and discuss it with a trusted mature Christian.

1. Growing in Christ — Building a Strong Foundation

Habits of Grace

David Mathis

An accessible guide to the ordinary means of grace: hearing God through Scripture, speaking to Him in prayer, and growing with His people.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

Not Yet Married

Marshall Segal

Encourages joy and purposeful service during singleness, without treating marriage as the beginning of real life.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

How People Change

Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp

Explores heart-level change through Christ, addressing desires, responses, repentance, and lasting spiritual growth.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

2. Singleness, Dating & Godly Relationships

Marry Wisely, Marry Well

Ernie Baker

An ACBC-listed guide to personal preparation and wise decisions about marriage; a particularly strong fit for our biblical counseling emphasis.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

Not Yet Married

Marshall Segal

Shows how to use singleness faithfully and approach dating without making romance an idol.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

The Sacred Search

Gary Thomas

Challenges readers to think beyond attraction, considering why they want to marry and whether their motives and priorities honor God.

FIND ON AMAZON → · AUTHOR AND RETAILERS

3. Preparing for Engagement and Marriage

Nine Essential Conversations Before You Say I Do

Gary Thomas, Steve Wilke, and Rebecca Wilke

A guided conversation resource about commitment, conflict, finances, family, intimacy, and shared expectations. Review alongside Scripture and your church’s counseling convictions.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

When Sinners Say I Do

Dave Harvey

Explains how the gospel shapes humility, repentance, forgiveness, and everyday life together.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

Marry Wisely, Marry Well

Ernie Baker

Helps dating and engaged couples examine readiness, character, and the wisdom of a prospective marriage.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

4. Understanding God’s Purpose for Marriage

This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence

John Piper

Marriage is a covenant intended to point beyond itself to Christ’s love for His church. This perspective matters even if you are single.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage

James Ford Jr.

Considers several biblical purposes of marriage and how a God-centered understanding reshapes expectations.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

Sacred Marriage

Gary Thomas

Asks how God uses marriage not only for happiness but also for growth in holiness, humility, and love.

FIND ON AMAZON → · AUTHOR AND RETAILERS

When Sinners Say I Do

Dave Harvey

Offers a gospel-centered view of life between two sinners who need grace, honesty, repentance, and forgiveness.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

The Exemplary Husband

Stuart Scott

A practical biblical treatment of a husband’s character, love, responsibility, and service.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

The Excellent Wife

Martha Peace

A biblical treatment of a wife’s character and calling, with emphasis on wisdom, faithfulness, and love.

FIND ON AMAZON → · PUBLISHER ALTERNATIVE

A Final Encouragement

Ruth could see only the next faithful step. God was weaving her life into a much greater story, leading through David to Jesus Christ. We cannot see all that God intends for our future. We can know His character, trust His providence, and obey Him today.

Before asking “Who will love me?” remember the One who has loved you in Christ. Before seeking refuge in another person, seek refuge in the Lord.

“The LORD repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!”
Ruth 2:12 (ESV)

UNDER HIS WINGS • My Life. His Story. His Glory.

Read thoughtfully alongside Scripture; inclusion does not endorse every claim by an author. All cover images are embedded and display offline. Purchase links need an internet connection. Amazon links are book-finding searches; stock and prices are not guaranteed. Covers belong to their respective rights holders and editions may vary.

Scripture quotation is from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.